Having tour to the Ukraine bride, the German washed the bath with insecticide and has called Militia when neighbors suited the party

Visit of the groom to Kiev has upset started through the Internet the romance

Lilia Povolotskaya
"FACTS"

Acquaintance and correspondence on the Internet, dear to heart photo on the 15-inch screen... Romanticism of present love Is those. All is new, attractively, mysteriously and excitingly. Especially if a subject of your lamentations - the citizen of the advanced European country. However the first visit to lovely in a capital hailstones Kiev has spoiled the idyll which has usually for six months. The boat of happiness was broke about a falsity of a life, and the groom has hastily abandoned our hospitable territory... "Farewell, darling! In the heart I shall keep the most light memoirs on you "...
The Groom from Germany has refused to drink tea on water from under the crane and there is a pie with cholesterol in a cream
Frankfurt	Irina's Virtual acquaintance with Richard was held in the summer when she, student KPI, earned additionally in firm, typing texts on a computer and practising in drawing up of simple programs. And, having got (during a break on coffee) on one of the European chats in a network the Internet, she has found the interlocutor in whom at once has felt related soul. In perfection knowing German language, Irina with pleasure discussed with him music and cinema, shared her developments (he also studied applied mathematics), told about the country, asked on his city. In due course in their correspondence the world and the consent were established. Also have departed from Germany to Ukraine of a photo: "I'm with Dolli (my dog)", "We with mama on the sea". In the answer gentle Ukraine bride sent ridiculous cards and translations of domestic jokes.	Kiev

But the love does not suffer frameworks: soon to guys has bothered to consider a photo on the monitor, and they have decided to meet. All also began from this moment! In our country it were necessary for registration of the invitation to Irina not only money, but also it is a lot of time which should be spent for turns in various instances. But to the private order Ukrainian such red tape is clear and habitual. Unusual was sonorous suiter which has decided to coordinate to accepting side... The wardrobe. For one and a half hour of telephone dialogue ALL was stipulated - not only the sum necessary for arrival, but also quantity of woolen socks, handkerchiefs, gross weight of luggage, the name and cost of souvenirs (which by virtue of it any more could not become "a pleasant surprise" for lady). The visitor also has found out, what insects are found in Ukraine and what level of radiation.

And there is it - a happy instant of a meeting at the airport, smoothly overgrown in angry unwillingness Richard to sit in a taxi "without draughts". As soon as Irina did not persuade him to refuse this expensive invention and to go by bus! No, he stood on the, resulting as argument of the publication of German newspapers about revelry of a mafia in Ukraine. Richard was sure: the bus collects people taking out them "in a forest"...

Further - it is more. Ukraine bride could not lodge suiter in the house (family traditions did not allow). Therefore she for one week has borrowed at the classmate keys from one-room "small motel". All attributes for a long time not repaired Soviet "khruschovki" were inherent in this dwelling: dusty ventilating apertures, faded wall-paper and cockroaches. Richard after road has decided to take a shower at last to appear before the darling clean and smelling sweet, and it was directed in bathing. The bath covered with a rusty raid has resulted him in some confusion, but he has not become puzzled and has courageously poured out into it specially(!) brought liquid from insects (very smelly). But... The first attempt to open the crane was finished by that in a hand of the German there was a turned off gate (such it happens...) then he with horror has jumped out of a bathroom and long begged Irina to not bring an action against him.

The Noble woman not only has not addressed in judicial bodies, but even has repaired the crane, having set up the gate on a place. One more shock Richard has tested during washing, when hot water was gradually replaced cold (and such at us it happens...). He again with horror has jumped out from a bath, but already with the decision itself to bring an action.

Somehow having finished washing, he has cheered up and has come to drink tea. And here his mentality was again subjected to an attack of the Ukrainian reality as Irina has fill water (terribly to tell!)... directly from the crane. "It's chlorinated!" - scaredly has exclaimed Richard. But other water in the house did not appear, and it was necessary to eat a pie dry. However, pie his Ukraine bride eats one as to it there was no certificate with the indication of amount of cholesterol in a cream.

Gradually foreign visitor has thawn. The love, destroying barrier and reserves, again was established in his heart. And he has gone to unpack suitcases, to present the girlfriend beforehand stipulated present. Suddenly from a room wild shout which in translation from German meant was distributed: "I shall kill you, a fiend!" - and a roar. Frightened Irina has flown there just at that moment, when Richard thrashed a leg on a floor, from time to time pouring in under a sole that specially brought (very smelly) liquid from insects. Having won a cockroach, he solemnly has presented the stiffened bride a set of basts.

Appearing closed in a bathroom, the German caused the help by the mobile phone through the friend in Frankfurt

Walk over Kiev (which was some it is impaired a little by purchase of huge amount of refined products and their regular transportation home) has returned to their relations former touching. Day was replaced in the evening and, gently having said goodbye with the groom, Ukraine bride has vigorously gone home. The following three days she should visit lectures in institute. Therefore the German visitor could carry out till six evenings leisure in proud loneliness.

Nevertheless after first night Irina nevertheless has dropped in since morning in "small motel" (to visit the foreigner) and has seen rather strange picture: Richard has fastened on itself all wardrobe brought with self and sat under two blankets. The temperature of 18 degrees (which it is usually supported in "small motels") appeared insufficiently high for the European organism. And to be heated to Richard there are nothing: tea from chlorinated water he not saws and to accept hot baths was useless, as the temperature of water in the crane did not exceed room. The visitor needed to be rescued. Therefore to evening in "small motel" the heater "Sparkle" was established.

The second night German has too carried out without sleep... He for the first time saw a heater in which the heated springs as fiery snakes, stick out from a protective lattice and ominously hiss. Richard very much was afraid of a fire. Especially in this country. The next morning he has demanded, that "monster" have rearranged in kitchen and gave him the phone "of police". Phones "01", have given "02" and "03" it, having learned to say the address and a word "Help".

The third day has passed almost without incidents: Richard at last has got used to cockroaches, has learned to use an electrolighter (which terribly cracked in an operating time) and even has left on a balcony to smoke. It is necessary to note, that the balcony of "small motel" (located on the eighth floor) represented gloomy enough show: rusted, places flown away, concrete, fenced off from street a traditional low lattice about in part torn off handrail and rare rods. Richard valued itself, therefore three days smoked on a threshold of a balcony, starting in an apartment winter frosty air. But there was a misfortune in the evening...

The matter is that in doors the bath stood the lock - "dog". Ordinary, a springing latch of Soviet times. Having gone before dream to clean a teeth, Richard has closed a door to open which any more could not. Fortunately he(it) with itself, except for a towel and cowards, had a mobile phone (improbable love to engineering). It is plus. The minus consist that he has not taken with himself also a notebook. Therefore Richard (dark blue from a cold) all night kept ringing to the friend to Frankfurt that that has gone to the Internet and has left for Irina the message that her lovely is made in ruthless embraces of a bathroom.

Irina has reached the computer only after institute. Having read the message, she(it) at once has come tearing along on proceeds to the prisoner. On its(her) natural question: "Why you have not beaten out a door, little fool?" Richard has answered, that to him even in a head such could not come! (the respect for a private property) is great nevertheless in their European people. He has carried out evening of the fourth day in negotiations with German friends and relatives (it was nostalgia...).

The romantic supper planned to this day at candles was saddened with lecture Richard about harm of socialism, national disputes and finding - out of interstate relations. To business there was a big politics with words "And yours in 42-nd year!.." Both have remained are pleased with that Richard tomorrow leaves.

Having called Irina, Richard has told, that him "has stolen by police"

However the exhausted nervous system of the German should sustain one more impact. The matter is that it was evening of Friday concerning what neighbours suited a traditional banquet (with visitors and dances). First hearing Richard irritated a quiet rumble behind a wall, clinking of glasses and periodic barrackings: "Well, let it be!". The second branch of the program - choral singing then began. However by virtue of the acquired biases the foreign visitor could not estimate beauty of ours "Oy chih zh to zhito..." and "Nese Galya vodu" ("Galya carrying water"). He has left an apartment, has called neighbours and long in German swore in a crack of a slightly opened door. Then the chubby female hand has stretched to him two "grivni" and the door has slammed.

When dances have begun (to hours to two night), Richard has not sustained: has typed "02" and has made treasured "Help!" And the address. To honour of our militia it is necessary to note, that the operative group has come tearing along literally in five minutes. They have strictly asked the documents certifying the person (which at him were) from the German and allowing to be on the given living space (that at him were absent). Not having received the intelligible answer to a question, that the German makes in this apartment at two o'clock in the night, the militia has taken away Richard with itself in branch.

About the chamber of imprisonment pending trail we shall not tell: who there was, that knows, and who was not, to that to not understand... Fortunately, Richard already has taught in memory phone of his Ukraine bride Irina. The early bell to her has not surprised, and having heard from the visitor, that "he has stolen by police", she has asked to a tube of the attendant, has found out number of branch and has arrived to settle a problem.

When Irina took away Richard from "monkey house", he has met her as native mother. No, even it is better. On road home he long cried on her shoulder from powerlessness, repeating: "All against me. Destiny! I, probably, never shall get home!"

They have arrived To the airport equally one hour prior to a start and have occupied turn on the customs control. And here happened irreparable: the passenger facing to them started from something to argue from the customs officer therefore the guard of border has decided to forward obstinate in the nearest customs room. But the matter is that in Europe customs officers usually do not leave the posts without supervision - someone necessarily remains on a place and continues to check luggage of passengers. Having seen, that the customs officer leaves, Richard the beginnings to beat in a hysterics. He shouted, that it is plot, that "Soviet" never now will release him and will banish to Siberia (old propagation of times of reorganization has had an effect), and demanded the consul. The consul have not resulted. Have sent nurse. Then - the customs officer. The plane has carried away on the board of the exhausted groom in embraces stable and reliable, as full-breasted the German, the native Land.

P.S. After the arrival Richard has written the letter. Short. The essence is those: "I still love you, but you so it is a pity to me. And all of you too it is a pity. You very strong and courageous. You can understand much. I can not provide to you such conditions to what you have got used. I think necessary to stop our friendship. Always yours, Richard... "